How to Host A Homeless Birthday Party

I am not making this up! So, this morning our middle daughter (need I say more...) approaches me as says, "Mom, I want to Feed the Homeless for my Birthday!" Of course, I say, "Great. Yeah! You are feeding the homeless on Sunday. We are going to E's house and we are taking our crew and some girl scouts and making product-assembly line style, PBJ Sack Lunches for I don't know, like, a thousand sack lunches for about a thousand children and some adults on the southside of Richmond, Virginia near the River."

But, S says to me, "But, I want to Host a Feed the Homeless Birthday Party..." and "...the Homeless get the gifts..." Folks, I am not making this up. We are hosting a Feed the Homeless this Sunday and we are having a great time making their lunches the night before at my girlfriend's house in The Fan District. We plan on bringing recruits. And, maybe, a Catholic Priest, or two, or even a youth worker. Let's go Make some noise! And, see what happens. I pray that it is all good and it works out the way God intended it, to be. And, finally, birthday girl asks me, "Mom, can I have a Homeless Birthday Party Cake...and...give it to the Homeless but only after I blow out the eleven plus one birthday candles....?" What more does anyone want? Really. Really.

Oh, yeah...by the way, Monday, 15 September 2014, it's my birthday too. I became a mother the second time around. Happy Birthday, to me, too!

Labours of Love!

My Daybook For This Week:

Outside My Window...is a gorgeous late summer day. I get to enjoy our waterfall and pond a few more weeks before we tent it for winter. Our five fish have been abundant this year and are almost too numerous to count now! The humidity is about to break this week. More outside time. 

I am Thinking...that I need to schedule more time for myself in the coming year to prepare for when our children leave the nest. 

I am Thankful For...my husband who supports me in all that I do and even that which I don't. The strong, competent, and fascinatingly interesting women that I have finally met after I started on our family's homeschooling journey! My health. I am so grateful for the health that I continue to enjoy after almost seven years of suffering pre and post breast cancer. Still, not out of the woods, yet!

From the Kitchen...will come another frugal meal as we recover from a devastating year in extra hospital and doctor bills and still take our family vacation. We still take the time to make what we have attractive in both decor and plating the food. Our girls are eating less and less carbs by choice; except for my vegetarian who will eat tons of pasta! 

Learning at Home...we are in full-speed ahead as our academic year has started for our fourth-grader and is coming to a slow crawl for the previous year for our rising ninth grader and rising sixth grader. I want to add the French language, one that I am quite proficient in and I simply adore! I hope our girls will not only be receptive to the new language but become fluent in every way. I'd love to reward our hard work by going to Paris, France and also tour the Loire Valley and see all the chateaux and vineyards.

Living the Liturgical Year At Home....celebrating The Feast of the Nativity of Our Lady on September 8 and anticipating the Feast of St. Michael. Not only is St. Michael the Patron Saint of Homeschooling but he is the Patron Saint of our Parish here in Glen Allen, Virginia

I am Creating...a peaceful, soulful home in honour of the RVA Peace Festival at St. Stephen's Episcopal Church, Three Chopt Road and Grove Avenue and International Day of Peace on Monday, 22 September at the Cathedral of the Sacred Heart. The Universal Peace Federation in Richmond and the Catholic Diocese of Richmond extend an invitation to all to participate in this event commemorating the UN International Day of Peace under the name of "Harmonious Interfaith Relations," and its foreseeable impact on local and global cultural transformation for a peaceful world. Give Peace A Chance....

I am Watching...the made-for-television, late 1970s miniseries, "Centennial" by James A. Michner. Our girls got interested and now we are watching it as part of our U.S. History study, especially the settling of the wild, wild West.

I am Praying....not just for peace, but for families; my immediate family, my extended family, our friends families; families of Metro Richmond; families of the Commonwealth of Virginia; families of our Nation; and families throughout the world. Families of all shapes, sizes, and dynamics.

I am wearing...as usual clothes that are too small for me; I need to lose weight before I can fit into anything that I currently own. But, I still adore fashion. I wish that I could be the size that maximizes that goal.

I am Reading...the book Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn in preparation for the release of the movie. I am also reading chapters in the Old Testament and some French schoolbooks in anticipation of teaching that language.

I am Hoping...that this will be a successful year of homeschooling, activities and growth for all of us! I would like to continue to work on my book, give it a pithy working title ("Laying Down the Brain" just isn't working for me...) and finish it by the end of June, 2015. I would also like to turn the book into the screenplay (which I've never done) and work on peddling that to Hollywood. I want to bring about the Joy of Homeschooling as the best option for our middle-class families in America right now. I would like to schedule more 'friendship time" for me this year with my friends and also my husband. I am hoping that a dog that is just perfect for our family will make itself known to us soon!

Noticing that...our girls really are benefiting from being homeschooled students. It brings them closer to each other, their father and their mother. But, they also have the freedom to cultivate not only what interests them the most, but develop and build healthy habits and virtuous friendships. They know the force of their own minds, hearts and souls.

Towards My Personal Self-Care...I am still working on Yoga, my walks, my swims and I want to use my Nesbit gift card for a facial that my husband bought me for Christmas 2013 before my friend leaves to work somewhere else. 

I am Listening...to "Gone Girl" audiobook in anticipation of the movie release in October, 2014 and Rod Stewart's Adaptation of The Great American Songbook for music. I'll listen to Maureen Corrigan's piece on NPR's Fresh Air with Terry Gross tomorrow regarding her favorite book and upcoming book by Corrigan on F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby.

Around the House...I will tackle my closet and the spare Guest Room before the end of this month.

My Favorite Things...Autumn itself is my favorite season. I love the crisp autumn air, chrysamthatmums, cabbages, autumn pansies, hearty soups and stews; pumpkins, breads, root vegtables, apples and apple & pumpkin picking. Hiking through the mountains near our home in the Shenandoah National Park and the Blue Ridge Mountains.

My Plans for The Rest of the Week...start our children's annual activities like ballet, harp and piano lessons, adding in violin lessons this year for our youngest. Shakespeare, choirs (two this year) Model UN, Chemistry classes, Narnia IEW writing Class, Girl Scouts, LifeSmarts, soccer and the Ice Cream Social after the first week at the Academy of Music and the American Youth Harp Ensemble. I will have some free time on Saturday when all three of our girls attend the Father/Daughter Dance. We are all taking Community Bible Study and this year the theme is "The Road to Jerusalem". The subtheme, according to Faye, our CBS Leader, is "Marriages, especially Difficult Marriages.

Headlines this Week: Home Depot, credit cards hacked from computer system and identity fraud stolen; former Governor Bob McDonnell and First Lady Maureen McDonnell are convicted felons for 11 out of 13 count convictions (Gov) and 9 out of 13 count convictions (First Lady) for fraud. The Disease Ebola is spreading; another doctor has been brought to the U.S. to attempt to recover from the disease that currently has no cure. Fast-food workers went on strike for higher wages.Tom Hanks, Al Green, Sting were named as 2015 Recipients of Kennedy Center Honours; comedian Joan Rivers passed away. Comedian, Robin Williams committed suicide three weeks before that. Ferguson, Missouri riots after the slaying of a young African-American or Black man was gunned down in broad daylight by local police officer. Two more women were named to The View (Rosie Perez) and Nicole. Brad & Angelina Pitt were recently married in late August, 2014 at their vineyard in France. 

Hostage, kidnapped journalist James Foley was executed by 

Daniel Perle was kidnapped in Pakistan 2002. Marianne Perle was his wife and made the television movie, "A Mighty Heart" about the kidnapping with screenwriter, director, actress, Angelina Jolie

FAITH. FAMILY.FULFILLMENT

FAITH LIKE A MUSTARD SEED...

It's no typo. Fulfillment. Abundance. I am full. I am just enough. Unlike Dorothy in the hot air balloon in OZ and the appearance of Glinda the Good Witch, I've always known what I have; appreciate what I have; have the gratitude for what I have. I know. There is no place like home. I know deep in my soul. I feel it in my roots. All we have is each other and family. It's what sees us through. My family are tired of my one-liners, "We are not here to see through each other; we are here to see each other through." 

September's Theme for our family is "FAITH". You may recall that July & August (because so many of our family members were away at camps, etc....) was "PRAY" and we also spread the Vocations Cross around the Diocese for the rest of the 2014 to PRAY for VOCATIONS. But, perhaps, even more importantly, I want to PRAY here and now, in this space, the Prayer that I have been praying all by myself and passing it along every chance that I get: I pray for the families of our community, of our Commonwealth, of our Nation and of our World. It seems somewhere, even with the anniversary of 9/11 that we have forgotten as a people, as human beings what it means to be FAMILY. To be connected. It is hard to be a family right now. It is hard to be a mother and a father. The devil is in all those details. Families of all kinds, colours, and creeds. All families. I won't discriminate. I PRAY for all families, of all stages and ages. Everywhere. Because I feel right now that if I had a Mission and I chose to accept it: It would be to Protect, Preserve and Defend Our Families.

I have FAITH. Maybe like a mustard seed....but the Times, they are a-changin', they are a-changin'. I see change on the horizon, yet, again. There is Honey from The Rock. [More later] Mother Mary, the Original First Flock of The Faith...even the Duh-ciples did not BELIEVE in the ways that Mary readily accepted The Truth. Hubby and I started our married life in Ephesus where she is supposedly buried and absolu, it's well documented, spent her final years after Christ's death. After almost two decades, I know NOW it was no accident. It wasn't because I wanted HAWAII and he wanted ALASKA and the Marco Polo was 'available'. It was because He was calling us to His Holy Place. And, not for us, but for others, some of them souls yet to be...but Mary, Madonna, the One the Only, the Original Mother, kept all these things in her heart. 

It's a sad, sad, sad trinity of sadness type of day, today. I live outside of Richmond, Virginia. Today, the Headlines make me just, well, ...sad. But, I see Fruit in the Headlines; fruit that no one else can yet see; but it's there. It's tiny. It's planted. It's FAITH like a mustard seed. I have to get down on my knees in humility and remember the words that I was taught, the catechism of my childhood, and wrap my tongue and my integrity and my values around The Truth of His Divine Words truly, sweetly spoken.  But, the hardest part, is what Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi and Mother Theresa all talked about and lived: I have to be the change I want to see. I have to Be. But, at some point, I also have To Do. Shakespeare said it best, so much so that we all parrot his words, "To Be or Not To Be; that is the Question." And, that is never an easy proposition. But, it is trebly hard in my case, as a mother and as a modern-era wife. So much change. So many transitions about to happen..but I have FAITH. Who we choose to marry is so critical to our journey here on Earth to Heaven. Bless my sweet husband, he didn't ask for a lot of the things he has personally experienced in our married life, but we are better, more Holy people, for our journey. And, we work daily, sometimes hourly, to be open to the assistance that God gives us to get each other and our progeny to Heaven. For my part, I have many, many people waiting there that I know...some of them our own dear, tender little ones. It is important to me, I value and find worth in reaching for Eternal Heaven...there is so much Goodness and Truth in the journey towards there. But, I still PRAY because sometimes that is all one can do and sometimes, that is ENOUGH....who we chose to Love is not so critical. We should not have that choice; we should love the way Jesus taught us to love, openly, unconditionally. But, who we chose to love with focus and intention that is something that we can all learn to do well and with excellence.

I remain, Joyfully,

Fondly in Our Faith,

The Catalyst Pioneer

Please continue to PRAY with me for the families in the world, who are touched by trouble and sadness and experience real, true, sharp pain. Pain is Pain. It is not the same as Joy. All people feel both. But, real, pain is just that...pain. There is only one way in and one way out, and nobody asks for pain. We all PRAY for JOY. We receive both. Recognize the Gifts that we have and the Fruits of the Spirit that we both gift and receive and know the difference. Gifted in Glen Allen.

GENESIS OF ARK 360° PROJECT

Today we have a mother and daughter team coming to afternoon tea to discuss, plan, create and start to implement our middle school girls ARK 360° Program. Acts of Random Kindness, 360 of them to be exact, for our girls kindness campaign. This mother and I recognized, many years ago, all on our own, the signs of kindness, generosity of spirit and genuine fellowship with mankind in our girl. REAL mothers know their child better than anyone else. Think of one of the original mothers: Mother Mary, and how she knew Jesus, even before he was born. She knew who he was, she knew who his Father was, where he came from, and she even, slowly, grew to know his fate. I speak here of the original Madonna, as a historical reference point of fact so as not to offend any non-believers. But, my point being, that she had FAITH! She perhaps had, Original Faith. She was the first human who walked the earth who had Original Faith. Certainly not the Disciples, who I punning often refer to as "The Duh...ciples..." (the word, "Disciple" comes from the Latin for 'Student').

About two, maybe three years ago, this particular mother and I recognized the proverbial light in each other's child as well. These girls are Autumnal Babies. They are born at the autumn season of a year and poised to be on the cusp of a new year. As an October Baby myself, I know...how hard it can be to be in that unique position. I think, more so than birth order or sibling rivalry, our society should speak more of these children and later on, adults. There needs to be different methods of engaging these children. [more later] But, if you are stuck in the middle of three girls, three sisters, and you are also an 'Autumnal Baby'...well,  lordy, lordy, lordy. Blessed by your name girls 'cause you have your mommas for some street cred. Because yes, my girlfriend also has the same unique scenario.

Our girls, all on the own, constantly think about, pray about, discern and do something about, some very interesting problems in our culture. In our society. In our communities. And, they both have gone global in their quest. Last January, when we celebrated my belated Hawaii-Five-O birthday in Honolulu, our middle daughter, somehow managed to share her toiletry packages with Waikiki Beach's homeless population. For those who don't know the situation there, let me quickly update you: Starting in the late 1990s, it was much easier for some urban cities, in particular, like now-bankrupt Detroit, to purchase one-way tickets for their homeless populations and send them to Hawaii. It was less expensive than caring for them in their own shelters and the winter climate was and is, brutal on the homeless population. It's no joke to say, that even harmless homeless persons have a sell-by date and the cleanup of that aftermath is not only not attractive (never mind humane...), but it ain't...cheap. So, it was EASIER to ship the willing participants to Hawaii and there they have landed on the beaches of touristy Waikiki in Honolulu Bay. Even young people, disengaged with their world, maybe flunking out of college or disenchanted with the systems that are failing them,  perhaps, debt-ridden and drowning in college loan debt, realizing that there are no jobs that lead to careers for them at this moment, mounting in addictions, lack of love, latch key kids from privileged, not-so-privileged or downright, dirty family histories and backgrounds, checking out of society, just for a few years...eventually they can't afford to get back to wherever it was they came from. So, they become part of another system. And, that's where our daughter, S, comes into the picture. 

At first, my husband and I were embarrassed (okay, I don't speak for my husband and he NEVER speaks for me, so I'll leave him out of this) by her generosity. We didn't think it was kosher. We didn't think it would be received in the way it was meant. Since we were tourists, we weren't even sure it was legal or safe. We didn't feel COMFORTABLE. (and that's where I will put my husband; our comfort level was at best, uneasy...) But, guess what. A Miracle happened. The Homeless (now a Capital "H") not only took S's toiletry kits; they gratefully accepted them. Eventually, they looked forward to them. And, they looked forward to her. And, so, too, did S. It became part of her day. Her routine. I mean, here was this ten-year-old, actively recruiting for toiletry items from the hotel's maid service, elevator, hotel guests, lobby guests and front desk, each and every day. She planned her mealtimes and the food stuffs around her daily walk from the hotel to the beach; from the hotel to the local Catholic church, St. Augustine's By the Sea; or from the hotel to whatever public transport we were taking that day for the daily sightseeing trip. She enlisted HELP. She had a small army of ants, working for her on this project. She had the UCLA Girl's Swim Team, practicing there in Hawaii, on the beach, after their daybreak morning swim, for what reason, I have no idea, but they were adding to her stash. They recognized S at either the elevator (we are running late today....) or on the morning walk to the local ABC store for hubby's morning SPAM sandwich (on time today!!!). They started to call her by name. S was building community, on vacation, in Hawaii. My husband and I (and here I will speak for him, 'cause he's given me permission) realized, finally, once and for all, that S has this 'special, unique, one-of-a-kind, God-given, Fruit of the Spirit, GIFT...S builds community, everywhere...she built community in the Lower 48 (or Upper 48, however, one looks at it) and we took it for granted. We just didn't take it seriously, and there's where I know I failed both as a mother and as a human being. But, somewhere on the beaches of Waiikii, probably when the sun was setting around Duke's (world famous restaurant named after a world famous swimmer. Did I tell you I was an olympic-caliber swimmer?) and either our buzzer was going off alerting us that our table was ready or my husband was rescuing me from a 64 year-old barfly, I realized: this is who S really was meant to become. This is who she is. Why aren't you recognizing this? Why aren't you opening your heart up to this? Why can't you encourage her? Support her? Embrace her? Engage her? Why can't I?

And, it only encouraged her when she heard at Sunday Mass from the local Hawaiian Catholic priest that the parishioner who had feed the homeless faithfully for almost twenty years, had passed away (the Sunday before we landed in Honolulu) in death during our time there. S wondered: Who will feed the homeless now? And, why would a woman who was born and raised a Catholic, refuse to enter the worship space of a Catholic church or darken a church's doorstep for almost twenty-five years? She fed the homeless in the sanctuary for over twenty years of those twenty-five. There's a story there...a story we never got to hear or at least not the whole story. And, then again, there is always at least three truths, right: her truth, their truth and His Truth. Already our S is learning to wait, perhaps not patiently yet, but wait in expectant epiphany, for the REAL TRUTH.

And, so that's when I learned to surrender my 'self' and open my heart even further and look at the world a little differently. To get off, yet, again, my own high horse, my own petty agendas, my own ambitions, my own needs. My own silly wants. I looked at the world through the eyes of a child, my child, or at least His Child, entrusted to me for only a few, precious years of total care and support, It was not easy. And, it certainly wasn't comfortable. It's none of those things now. I'm no saint. I'm very much human. But, I'm alive and breathing and well,...here we are ARK 360° Project.

ARK 360° Project. So, today, we meet. The concept is fairly simple. It always is at the Genesis of a Great Idea, isn't it? S saw the movie with Noah and the building of his ark. The modern day movie, Evan Almighty. And, coming from a very ecumenical, religious platform, she knew the story well already. I wouldn't say it was a fav movie of hers. I would say that it just 'spoke to her, softly'. The movie features ARK--Acts of Random Kindness. It's one of the central themes. And, it spoke to S. Apparently, it spoke to a lot of people. So, S's idea is not new or even original...yet. Even some Harvard College boys who took the year off, or semester or the summer, or whatever and travel around in a mobile home and commit random acts of kindness. They took the concept and ran with it. And, it's well documented by both social media and snail media. S saw that and was promptly committed herself. 

So, today, we mothers and our unique, middle, autumnal daughters on the cusp of something greater than, even themselves, meet to develop and plan and eventually, implement, these great girly ideas of Random Acts of Kindness. S likes the idea of an ARC. Because an ARC is not a circle. It doesn't completely make sense does it? But, it's flexible. It bends. It's unusual. It's unexpected. It's fluid. Noah's ark, saved lives. It represents renewal. It was a simple, grand idea, gesture, turned into a very grand reality. When Noah was building the ark, people, other people, but even his family members, and his relatives, made fun of him. They belittled him. They tried to intimidate him. They marginalized him. They bullied him. They didn't understand him. But, then again, they didn't want to understand him. They didn't even try to open their hearts, their minds, their souls. S knows all this. She's prepared. She doesn't care. She knows she needs help. And, that's where her mutual, symbiotic friend, E, comes in. She can handle what's about to come in smaller doses, if she has a few like-minded individuals on her side, helping her, enlisting her help. A mutual partner in crime so to speak. Someone who gets her and gets what she's trying to accomplish here on earth. And, too, that's why she really likes the "degree" sign. Because it recognizes that random acts of kindness often come softly, in gradual...incremental...degrees. It's shades. It's not black or white. It's degrees of gray, and shades of gray and NOT THAT SHADE OF GRAY (if you know what I mean. Eeew!) It's not wild. It's sort of like the original man of humility and kindness and forgiveness, himself. One mightn't recognize ARK 360° until it's too late. And, that might be the beauty. The surprise. The everlasting, je ne sais quoi factor. It comes in degrees...or not at all. It takes us human beings a while to "GET IT"; I know it took her mother a while. If I had been hit over the head with her ideas and the full force of them, I know even I'd be running for cover...and in the opposite direction. Not S. Since the day she was born, she has been waiting patiently for me and others to catch up to her. She can wait. She has a big agenda. And, it's agenda that everyone of us can benefit. 

It's not in your face. 360° implies a full circle view, though, doesn't it? One can walk around it. 360° implies that it is a full circle thing. It's a bird's eye view or maybe, just maybe, a view from ABOVE; a view from heaven. From a distance. The world looks like their project? Maybe? Or, the world should look like their project? Maybe this is how it's supposed to be? Big Picture. Little Picture. It's all in the mathematical viewpoint. God, Yahweh, Father, Allah, Divine Universe. Divine Universe does order the universe perfect. Scientifically, it is a complete and perfect, 360°.  But, only according to S and E, see, ...by degrees. Small, human, random...steps...

For S & E, see, It's not big. It's not like the ALS Bucket Brigade. It probably won't go viral. In fact, if it 'Goes Viral' or 'Goes Viral' too soon, they will be done with it. They'll wash their hands of it. Because here's the REAL DEAL about our middle daughters: they don't commit Random Acts of Kindness like it's a campaign to get them noticed. NO. They aren't looking for Instagram or "Likes" on their FaceBook. This is not their siren call to Social Media for attention. Especially since they are the Muddles-in-the-Middle, right? Girlies looking for the attention that they aren't getting. These girls are doing it, primarily because it's who they are; but, also because it's just 

the RIGHT THING TO DO....

everyone should be doing this...everyday....routine...

like S. said, "After you brush your teeth, you do this...wash...rinse...repeat....everyday...daily....forever. 

And, you don't complain about it. And, you don't advertise it. You just...Do It!" If it's recognized...terrific...if not, then, that's God's sign to keep on doing it, because it is so necessary and needs to be done. Needs. Not wants. Let me just say this, Here & Now: Folks, she just came out this way on  Monday, September 15, 2003. I can't take any credit for this. I can only foster it. Nurture it. Guide it. Mentor it. Direct it. To making IT, her own. And, did I mention she was once, long ago, part of a twin....she lives her life large for two. Just me guessing...but, in any case, her father and I know we can't take credit for any of this....Kahil Gibran, the Philosopher, has repeatedly said: Our children are not our children. They travel the future something we parents can never really travel on. I'm paraphrasing here, of course. But, it's true. We can never really be part of their tomorrows. Their future is something we can never inhabit. But, we can give them the toolbox of life, to handle their roads of tomorrow and hopefully, if they remember us, fondly, in love, in joy, in gratitude..then, and only, then...have we done our job correctly...

S doesn't even know yet, what Margaret Mead had to say: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world...indeed it is the only thing that ever has." But, I know. And, now you do, too. We knew it all along. We just left it somewhere along our journey, along with our youthful innocence and childlike dreams. Somebody pounded us in and finished us off. And, then, comes along S. She is strong, feisty and fierce. She's competent, profound, human, honest, proficient, sure of herself and the certainty of her wisdom of the ages and she comes with companions bearing Fruit of the Spirit and GIFTS....and she has adults who have no intention of letting her down...ever.

The New & Improved Emperor's New Clothes

We woke up to a beautiful hot and humid day. And, I'm not complainin' because I remember the snow from last winter...this, despite, the mid-winter surprise, that my husband took our family to Hawaii in January to celebrate my belated Hawaii Five-O birthday!

Since we Home School, today was not our official start of the new academic year. In fact, we school all year 'round so there really is no such thing as Back to School for our family or indeed, many of the hundreds of families that we now know on this journey. That moniker is a clever Madison Avenue ploy to put into 'play' millions of dollars into our economy. And, it works! People fall for it hook, line & sinker because, without them even realizing it, they have become 'programmed' to buy Back-to-School school supplies. The fact that it is the best time to buy school supplies is not lost on this homeschooling family (or any for that matter), but retailers (and wholesalers) know they will generate the volume sales. Homeschoolers know to delay their gratification and only stock up on school supplies at that time, for the lowest possible prices and to offset their bottom line. But, we also 'choose' the timely of our supplies for maximum discounts and for the quality of the shopping experience. Just like everything else, we will not be caught shopping with the rest of the sharks. We want to have a quality-of-life experience. We do not want a pirrah or dog-eat-dog experience anymore. Back-to-School for public school children in our area and their parents is a huge deal in our area. It is a cultural thing as well. Adults have turned it into a 'popularity' thing or even a 'bully-proofing' if you will experience (more about this later) And, for 3.7 million Kindergartners across the U.S. today, today was the first of many, at least thirteen, hopefully, more First Day of School Days. Their Graduation Day is something like 2027. And, that's just public school...what a market. What a captive market. Hmmm.....how many people can I sell a school supply, too? Now, make the leap over to China...Yeah, see what I mean...read all the white space. Global market economy. What would happen if that market suddenly...disappeared. Think of the infrastructure. That's another reason why change is incremental.

Anyway, my husband left at his usual time. And, I was taking our youngest daughter to an introductory French Immersion Class. Tops for both of us: twenty minute commute. And, bear in mind, we usually don't have to be out the door by 8 o'clock. Well, suffice it to say, our morning commute made the evening news at both 5 o'clock, 5:30, 6 0'clock and again at 11 p.m. "Gridlock Nightmare" was the headline. Now, I've worked in New York City and overseas in Europe; my husband is from the beach area and knows L.A. and the West Coast Traffic fairly well. We also vaguely remember NOVA (Northern Virginia/DC/Beltway) traffic from our young just starting our hungry, career days. We are both well acquainted with REAL, actual gridlock...This was not gridlock. But, it was bad; and absolu atypical of the area. For my husband, his commute was over an hour. I was a bit more lucky, but I made alternative plans. I was also paying attention to my environment and thinking things through. I used critical thinking skills to solve my problem. And, I had to adapt myself to that environment. And, I was still reasonable and respecting about it.

But what I did think was several things. One, how much like lemmings we human beings have become. I thought of the Korean secondary students this past winter that willingly went below deck on the ferry they  hired for their school tour and sightseeing and--unknowingly sunk to their deaths! I watched as hundreds of parents today took their children to their first day of school and then, both mom and dad drove in separate cars to their respective places of work. And, saw nothing wrong with that scenario. Do you see anything remotely wrong with the situation. And, if so, on how many different levels. Because I stopped counting when I asked to borrow my daughter's toes. And, when these parents finally realized that the traffic ahead of them was gridlock--well, they did absolu nothing about it. Just sat there. Inertia. Nada. No critical thinking skills there. Our shiny new nine-year-old , being chauffeured herself, to a trial French Immersion School immediately assessed the situation and then promptly gave me, verbally volunteered, at least three different routes these cars could be taking. All I could say was: I know. I know. Don't they.

But, the bigger pic thought that sneakily creeps into my psyche...a lot? Is the willingness for these same adults to willingly hand over their children so easily and so, dare I say--happily--to another authority, other than themselves. Think about that. Chew on it, indeed. Free school is the biggest scam goin'. Parking Lot Day Care. Park your child here for the next thirteen years. We'll make some of it, interesting. When they are done, they'll go out and do some exciting things, before they have to Parking Lot Day Care you into a Retirement Home or Assisted Living Space or somewhere....And, industry is making a killing on someone else raising your child. And, because you don't know your child (and more importantly, as you age, your child doesn't know you or even care about you other than as a meal ticket to ride...somewhere...) your child will feel no remorse (just like you didn't when you put them in public school or any school for that matter) when they put you in a Nursing Home. You're OKAY with that, right? For maybe, say, thirteen years, just the same amount of years as you were put in school (because you were a minor and had no say in the matter). The questions become the same questions again: "What's the best Nursing Home ? (that I can afford; or want to afford) Will they have snack? And, of course, these institutions are run at the same high quality as our federally and state-funded and/or subsidized public school institutions? Certainly, the same great diet and nutrition comes from the same place? It happens, sooner, and sooner.

We were in a public school once. For six years: K - Fifth Grade. A supposed G-R-E-A-T school! High test scores. Academic rigor. Upper echelon soci-economic backgrounds. Lots of diversity. Yeah. Yeah...scratch the surface. Looking back, I know that most parents/grandparents lose their child somewhere in the second semester of Second Grade. The transformation is pretty much complete by then. Of course, all children are different. Slightly. For some, it might take longer. For others, it's pretty complete. And, some, some actually enjoy the institutionalization factor of it. For them it's safe. There is a comfort level. (they may have the most difficulty dealing with and living in the real world; successful students in K - 12 often make very unsuccessful adults because they had no life skills taught or learned in their 'institutionalization'. With everything handed to them, they didn't have to learn how to put those things together. But, more importantly, they don't even have a clue, that they now need to have the responsibility to put things together for themselves.)For some, I'm sure, it sure beats home. And, most of the parents, truth, be told, know that they are losing their child. And, they seem to be, if not okay about it, at least...numb to the situation themselves about it....perhaps because its all they know, or they 'think' it's normal or a part of life. I should stop and let this sink in...because it is The Emperor's New Clothes, folks. Only, I'm not the only one who knows he's naked as a Jaybird. In his Birthday Suit...lots of people, systems and institutions, know the same things I do. And, they know, just like any other good consumer what the perceived value and the real worth of the things they are consuming. Oh, they know alright....I stop there and that those algorithims sink in for folks without the best interest of child at heart and what they can, will and do, do with those algorithims. Because there is policy and procedures explicit and these value sets. Just remember, in the words of Matthew Kelly, "Culture doesn't have a plan for you. Culture doesn't have a plan for your child. Culture doesn't want the Best Version of Yourself (see previous post)? Only, you, God and your parents have the Best Version for Yourself. And, honestly, if you're a child, do you really do what is best for you all the time? If the answer, was "yes" then, do you know and (commit) to the Best Version of Yourself for 10,000 hours diligently?

But, know before you go there. Let me be that other voice in your ear. The one voice that you don't get to hear in a civilized manner. This voice doesn't get heard. It trots out in niggly minor ways all along the way. Trust me on this. The question or maybe, even questions will get heard and asked. Maybe you will even share those questions for validation and indeed, support, commisseration, with another parent. And, probably, you will receive validation. (They are counting on this 'socialization" aspect of parenting, particularly 'modern parenting'). Especially if you don't know your own mind, or are insecure or unsure or from another culture and want to assimilate seamlessly into the 'typical American culture' or prefer to go 'with the flow' or the crowd, especially, the in-crowd (popularity, socialization, group think). Then, your answers will reflect what you want to hear for the current situation. Here's one that I asked, frequently, "Before kindergarten, Sophie was happy and carefree and frequently played with her toys and her sisters with complete joy and abandon. Now, she comes home from school, tired and drained; cranky. She doesn't seem to want to have anything to do much with her sisters now. She seems dissatisfied with lots of things. I look back on her preschool pictures and she seems so much happier. Nothing dramatic has changed in our home. Is school really that hard? On weekends, I seem to get the 'old Sophie' back around dinnertime for a glimmer around dinnertime, but by noon on Sunday we are back to the 'current Sophie-self again'. It just seems to me that the school and her teachers and peers get the best part of Sophie all week long. By the time I get my own child, I get the worst part of Sophie, if at all. Is this normal?

The answer, usually from another parent, especially if the question is asked frequently is this: "Yes. it's normal. That's what I get, too. In fact, your lucky, your raising a girl (or a boy) because...." Also, if you are lucky, you might get: "I don't know what you are complaining about: your Sophie is so much nicer than my child, ______(if they are honest with you and themselves, because they know their child is not nice; and they don't hang out with your kid as much as their own, and we know how little time that is already,,,,and to the unobserved eye, your Sophie treats you nicer than their Sally or Sam does them)."

Answer your own question: Didn't you just get your answer: Validation. From another parent, even. And, it was complimentary, so the parent even made you feel good (a friend; an ally). You would make her feel good, too. But, when you asked the question, what were you looking for in your 'expectation'. Because when you went to your friend, you do know that you went to an unobjective observer, right? They also attend the same school. You may be getting a different opinion from a different human, parent or household. But, the circumstances and situations may be similar and the stakes are really the same. Both parents are in the words of the hit musical, "We're All In This Together!" Truly, there is safety and comfort in numbers. So, wasn't that really the answer you were looking for: I have this problem, reassure me, that you have this problem, too. We don't want to solve the problem or if we do, I only want to solve it the way I have expectations that XYZ will not change or will only change in my favor. Because if it involves sacrifice on my part, let's just move on.

Realistically, logically, if you both had thought about it for another minute (which you don't; we don't. we fill our thoughts with addictions, dark thoughts, our own misdirected thoughts) or you actually wanted a solution to your real problem, well, then, you'd both realize that your children should come home, refreshed, excited about school, meeting genuine, virtuous friends and eager to go back and do more of the same great, amazing stuff. So, why do we let them "off" so easy? Talk to a home schooler. Especially a home schooler who started home schooling in preschool. Talk to a home schooler who you know makes life exciting and fun! Talk to them about the challenges of their Back-to-School. We have them, too!

The Winds of Grace... They are a Changing

The Winds of Grace 

Are Always Blowing, 

But You Have to 

Raise the Sail.

Three Years ago this Labor Day Weekend, I started our family on the Journey of Homeschooling. Little did I know then what I know now: that the reasons we home school are in some ways, radically different, than our original reasons. And, the primary reasons for our home school in September 2011 are not, in any way, shape or form the reasons why we start our home school in September 2014. I would now be called a Seasoned Home School Mother. My husband would be the Seasoned Supportive Principal in our little Home School. But, in so many ways, we are still Catalyst Pioneers...

In our first year of home schooling we had NO Idea what we were doing, but I knew then, just as I know NOW that home schooling for this family, is the only correct, mindful choice for us. I also firmly believe that Home Schooling and the families that support Home Schooling, are this country's and perhaps, the world's only cultural responsive choice to save this country and it's values, its history, its integrity and it's pursuit of happiness. Yep, as a graduate of Mr. Jefferson's University, the University of Virginia, Class of 1986, I know full well, that our Founding Father's did not promise us Happiness, but at least one of them (my personal fav) thoughtfully considered the pursuit of happiness. And, THAT, I think, is the secret of home schooling. There can be happiness and indeed, JOY, in ourselves, our spouses, our children, our families and our world. Maybe it's just me (but I don't think so...) but the world just doesn't seem to be, well...happy, anymore...some are wealthier, most of us are a lot poorer; but even the wealthiest people on the planet seem to be....well,...soulless.

On Tuesday, 6 September 2011, I took myself and our three girls, E, (aged 11), S (still 8 years, but about to turn 9 years on the 15th) and L (just turned 6 years) to Sandbridge, Virginia, for what I thought would be our First Annual Not-So-Back-To-School, Beach Day. It was our first and last Day-After-Labor-Day, Public School Starts Today, but we Home School Now Day. We have since celebrated the start of our school year, like our home school, in diverse and unique ways, so different from 

My husband and I bought IKEA bookcases on Sunday, 2 September 2012 and on Labor Day Monday, September 3 we put them together in our converted schoolroom. We needed more space to both work, study, think and play. Our youngest daughter's, "Godsister" dropped by to moan and complain about how she was not looking forward to her Senior Year of High School and it was then that I really, really...just got it. I hadn't met a single child (or for that matter, any parent...) who actually currently or ever enJOYed their school experiences. I mean, here was a gorgeous blond, caucasian priviledged young lady bemeaning her Senior Year. Teaches seem to be embattled with each other, politicians, students, administration, and parents. There is no longer a safe, secure place for our children to go to. We know that. Who on earth would really want to be a teacher, beholding to any publicly federally and/or state funded administration. Really. There is no learning going on. There is a lot more of everything else going on. But, really, nothing good is coming out of our institutions. And, it is taking us decades to figure out, what we already knew the day we graduated from high school. We are not FREE...


HELP! We want out! The Journey of Childhood into Adolescence and Young Adult can be uniquely different. It can be JOYful. It can be Meaningful. It can be Purposeful. We can change Culture. And, Society. And, ideals and virtues and values of worth. One day at a time.We can use the time that we have together in an intentional way and we can determine what, when and how we learn. So, here we go tomorrow. And, our children will always remember their childhood and youth with those members who meant the most to them. No looking up a teacher and finding out that things weren't what they thought they were! So, here we go again, for Round Four on the Journey....

So, we have been lucky enough to scale the mild summit of Crab Tree Falls, in Nelson County, Virginia each and every home schooling year. The first year I didn't think I would make it because my body was riddled with the final aftereffects of radiation for the treatment of breast cancer, a maternal family DNA disease, that I almost succumbed to. But, I didn't. I'm still here. And, this year we climbed Crab Tree Falls with friends. Friends we hadn't even met in 2011 when we embarked on our journey. Life is good. If only for today. But, I salute our life with gratitude. So many of my friends and colleagues just plain didn't make it this far. We are all, in our own ways, haunted by September 11th, 2001. My husband and I are raising our children in the shadow of that legacy and the legacy of No Child Left Behind. But, we know we have choices and we have the economic freedom of over two decades of scrimping, saving and prudent investing to continue on this journey for as long as we can. We sleep well at night....

The Catalyst Pioneer